I sometimes feel like the heartless one though I know I
am not but somehow I fear I may be.
My love life has been pretty sad and basic I have only
been in love once or maybe one and a half times (I say half cause the love
hardly got the chance to bloom it got murdered lol!) and my heart was broken 3times. Twice by one person my ex husband and after
it took me one and a half years to leave a very toxic marriage I was free to be
me, to let the real Donna blossom and it has been an amazing journey of self
discovery it still is though you never really truly know yourself! During this
period I have became a somewhat commitment phobe and partially anti men, the
thought of compromise, sharing, caring and (oh no!) loving again is just not
the way forward for me right now.
I went about the last five months working harder than
ever and partying just as hard avoiding men at all costs which is pretty
impossible considering they are everywhere! The curse of beauty when nursing a
broken heart is one so unbearable, how you can heal or move on with men coming
at you and all you can think” is you’re all the same “is impossible! My first
reaction was just brush guys off with an “I don’t need you” attitude which
worked for about a month then I got the title of man hater then I had to sit
myself down and tell myself to chill out and stop being so angry and just flow.
Step two was just flowing kicking it with everybody and just being cool which
was apparently misleading because apparently if you’re nice to guys you’re
giving them hope for a future (seriously guys there is hope when I say there is).
Step three was create boundaries, after learning you can’t just kick it with
everyone as you might be leading them on, so in this step I was very chilled
and very selective about who I spent my time with and guess what (guys had
something to say about that too) So now I’m at my current position where I’m
like you know what “WHATEVER!” people are never happy so screw you I’m going to
do me and if you get offended go die cause I can’t live my life to please
anybody but me and God off course.
This stance is where the heartless one comes in and
honestly I don’t really care if I am the heartless one because this is my life
and I don’t need people wasting my time and positive energy and if it makes me evil so be it, as I am on a serious
no nonsense tip. I will not be too accommodating if I am not in to you then you
will notice in a nice way. I think people should be free to be themselves even
though people will not like who you are, it’s important to be true to you. So
if you whistle at me I ain’t having that, don’t grab on me to get my attention
as you may lose a limb and don’t expect me to have time for you randomly
because I am not a time keeper. To all the emotional guys, yeah that is just
not my thing if you whine stay the heck away from me and to all the
swagalicious guys trying to step up to me feeling yourself and talking gibberish
check yourself or you will lose your manhood! This is just who I am and I how I
feel it’s nothing personal I just feel like I should not have to tolerate what I
don’t feel like tolerating and this is Donna she is just protecting herself, hate
me or love me…
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