I always share my lessons when I can, and I think I understand myself a little more now than ever before. I think I am finally unlearning some things that the broken people that raised me ingrained in me. I'm
less afraid of being wrong and I'm more OK with not being liked. The first thing I want to acknowledge is how grateful I am to have been blessed with knowledge and enlightenment. It's such an honour and privilege to have a seat that my imposter syndrome likes to point out that I don't deserve on tables I'd never have imagined to sit at. To all my friends, mentors, and loved ones that have entered my life, I appreciate you all so much! Thank you.
The last decade has been nothing short of amazing, and I always like to say I have fully lived my 33 years on this earth because when I look back, I am totally blown away! To give you some perspective, a decade ago I drove a matchbox. I was malnourished, especially mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I was in full survival mode, not living in the present, not feeling or experiencing much. Some experiences are just a blur to me right now. I could barely afford to educate my children or feed them. My outlook on life was dim, and I could barely see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had just walked out of a seven-year marriage and threw all my security away because I wanted to be loved right!
At the time, many laughed at me, and very few held my hand and were prepared to walk with me. The first lesson I learnt then was that I was responsible for my choices and that I could not preempt anyone's responses or actions as a result of my choices. This was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm so glad to have learnt it young. Another lesson I learnt from being pregnant so young was to take responsibility for my actions, again, this has been such an anchoring lesson in my life, and it has spared me a lot of unnecessary pain.
Today the world may see me as indifferent to who I was ten years ago when I set out on a journey to find the love I deserved, but today I realise that while my relationship status is indeed single or divorced, my love life has truly flourished. I found and fell in love with myself, and it has been such a magical journey! I am learning to trust myself, travelling and dining on my own, appreciating my wins and victories, and looking in the mirror and smiling back at myself, realising we have survived so much. Considering all we have faced, and yet here we are glowing and smiling and taking each day as it comes as if we have never been disappointed or hurt before! In this discovery, I have found my peace, hope, and joy in life.
My greatest lesson in the last decade is that I went out to look for the love I had within. I couldn't stay in a loveless marriage because the barometer for love resided within me. The standard was set probably at birth and I couldn't and still can't accept half love because the greatest love I can experience comes from within and this is why your intuition is so important as it is the purest part of you. So if I ever share a lesson with you in life, it's this: spend time alone, listen to yourself, become one with yourself, and love yourself like your life depends on it because it certainly does! let my diamonds shine brightly from within.
