When a man should hold back!

Well after my first take on this matter a couple of people  requested a woman’s perspective on when a man should hold back this task  i took on gladly so guys here is the ugly truth!

Women love the chase so if you fancy a girl i suggest you go all out and show her that she is the only girl you have eyes for.  At times just like guys do, women weigh out their option’s (yes we do play the field too) so guys it’s usually a trial run in the beginning,  she may just be trying you out if she gives you a chance. Also know women love to love and they love with their whole hearts so she will need to know if you’re worth her love and if you intentions are true (this applies for some women tho).

Guys you know a girl is all yours when she devotes her time to you when her friends and lifestyle voluntarily get put on hold for you. When you call and she is there in an instant then that’s your girl, and well most women look to be lead and so she is most likely waiting on you to tell her that you are in a relationship (although some women do take the lead if the man seems to be indecisive, which is not a good quality to have).

Now the daunting signs that mean she is just not feeling you, firstly I’d say check her body language is she happy to see you or is it (oh you again atto) if yes run for that door. Women love affection so just because she likes to chat with you it don’t mean much, women hate to feel lonely so you may work as a chat buddy but don’t look too far into things we are big on friendships but not that big on relationships (tough luck gents). This is rough but very true, Guys just because we smile and we polite to you we ain’t tryna get married or be in a relationship with you, see friendship as just that friendship.

If a lady doesn’t have time for you or at times ignores you and gives off this hot and cold vibe, then I suggest you run she isn’t so sure that she wants you. If she changes suddenly, i.e. stops having time for you or is suddenly too busy for you, then she has met someone else. If you don’t know where she stays or have never been there she just might be homeless or hiding a husband,  So gents don’t go falling all over yourselves in love. Be smart……………….

Lonliness

You’re sat there all alone even though there are people around you, you’re zoned out and feeling empty with nothing to fill you up. You begin to look at your life what has it become what good are all my achievements if I’m all alone, is this all there is to life? Is there any hope for happiness and true companionship?

If any of this sounds familiar then the lonely bug has hit you before, yes this is something we all experience which actually sucks as I’m soo young and here I am discussing loneliness ( sad much!) but none the less it is a horrid reality to be in. I know at times it is a necessary experience for us to spend sometime alone reflecting on our lives and where we want to go and how we plan on getting there or at times it’s the time we need to reflect on our lives what have we become and are we happy with who we are. At times it’s just down right sad self pity sessions where you get the above mentioned feelings.

Loneliness is a frame of mind set that really requires a lot of work to change, or to try and snap out of. When your in this mind set it’s reflection time it’s time to think and look out side the box and see that this feeling is not  a life sentence and it’s simply a sign that there is more required for you to feel fulfilled in your life. Instead of crumbling in your current state look to other things for comfort and affirmation discover a new hobby, read a book, listen to some music there is a song or 10 written by someone feeling the exact way you’re feeling and there is a whole lot more to be discovered by you.

Alone time is something I am growing to treasure as it’s real time, being  a fun loving somebody that is hardly ever alone,  there have been times when I have needed  to stop the madness and just press pause and be me with only me (it sounds kind of crazy I know). This is the reality of my experience I have longed to go on long drives just to synchronise my thoughts and well have fresh air blowing in my face. Every time I have taken time out I have not regretted it, it’s necessary and if you regularly take time out for yourself then you’re less likely to feel lonely, in fact when loneliness ever does try to get a hold of you it will be like a me time break! So loneliness isn’t so frightening now is it?  I’d rather refer to it as a me time break, so have some me time and do not let life’s punches knock you out!

Love your life!

After going through a couple of blog posts I realised most of them were sad and almost depressing so here is my happy place blog. I love my life simply because I feel it is unique and well I’m the only driver so I determine more or less how this journey called life is going and in all honesty it had been great! Taking the divers seat of my life has by far been the best experience of my life thus far, the joy that came from me determining how I would act and react to certain situations, the happiness choices has been so heart warming.

I have learnt that life is not all what I expected it to be in anyway, many times I found myself awed but then I realised that hey what made me think life was supposed to be a certain way? Was I just limiting my self and setting my self up for disappointment? I was, because life is not set in stone and nothing is a particular way so the minute I understood this I rarely got disappointed because I didn’t expect much and if things worked out hey what a lovely surprise and if not oh well life goes on.

I loved planning and knowing this and that and having a alphabet of plans but yet again I was limiting myself. Spontaneity was lacking and I was boring and predictable which is so not a fun thing to be, so I decided to set a new motto and every time I had about doing anything I always tell myself “You Only Life Once” and more than likely I always choose to do the fulfilling option. (Credit to Drake for the motto YOLO) see the innovative benefits of listening to music.

Now life is your journey and only you truly determine what you get out of your life, only you truly decide the mark you will leave on this earth if you plan on leaving a mark that is. Albert Einstein said “He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. I am constantly in awe at the beauty of the world and the interesting world we live in don’t miss out on life open your eyes and live and love your life it’s unique and amazing.

Alcohol

This is an interesting topic as we are all taught that alcohol is bad and evil and we should all stay as far away from it as possible. Granted the effects of alcohol abuse are destructive but note that it’s the abuse of it or rather the excessive intake of it that becomes the problem.

I have never been much of a drinker but when I do decide that I would like a drink or three I would like to freely partake without any disapproval or dismayed expressions as though I were about to commit murder! As I recall in biblical history, there was quite a bit of drinking that took place throughout the bible. Correct me if I’m wrong but I believe that Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine (mnm how ironic) then I also recall the last super or the Passover feast involves um yup wine again! Interesting I suggest alcohol haters lay off the guilt tripping now...Alcohol isn’t bad people did drink from long ago but within reason.

So now I’m sat thinking alcohol isn’t so bad now is it since it made its debut in the bible, so why so much negativity associated with it then? I am assuming it’s the crazy people (alcoholics) that make it seem terrible, now if you’re feeling  defensive cause you drink quite a bit let me explain crazy drinking,  as I know first-hand as I lived with one such individual. Crazy drinkers (aka alcoholics) drink all day every day no problem (Kat Williams voice)! In addition to excessive and continuous drinking they get abusive once their intoxicated be it verbal, physical or emotional. That is craziness and it’s downright unacceptable!

If you’re going to drink, do it to enjoy yourself and ensure your enjoyment doesn’t inconvenience anyone in any way. Alcohol is a disruptive tool in the wrong hands and can be dangerous if not had responsibly. I think that people should be free to indulge if need be but indulge responsibly at all times is what I say. So hey life is short don’t stress don’t be too diplomatic and well don’t get too caught up in the moment. Trust yourself enough to be yourself unless you’re not worth trusting.

too good not to share

Connect, interact, fellowship with people who build you, who you build and where you can journey together. Ask yourself when you are with someone, is there a meeting of the minds? Can we support each other in our visions?

If you find that the people you are connecting & interacting with are pulling you down in your life, pull them out of your network. Do not allow yourself to be brought down in your confidence, self belief and self esteem.

[If they love you they will desire what is best for you and cheer you on when you need a cheerleader and hold you in their arms when you just need someone to listen and comfort you as you cry]

Invest your energy and resources where it's worth your while. Don't use precious time to justify and prove your worth. Trust me by virtue of being alive you are worthy. Time is precious and you must account for every second. ~ BTM

When should you hold back?

I have been watching relationships and chatting with my girls and I have discovered that women really don’t know when to hold back or when to chill in a relationship. I think it is safe to say that the dating scene is not very transparent (granted I have been in retirement for about 7 years now) but even then it was shady now it’s downright dodgy.

 I have witnessed people I assumed were dating come and say oh no we were just hanging out and my response is oh ok! (Guess that’s why they say if you assume you make” an ass of u and me”)! So I would really like to understand what then are the new signs of being in a relationship are, so I decided to quiz a couple of guys hoping they could shed some light on the mystery of modern day dating.

One gentleman said that you’re in a relationship when the guy begins going out of his way to call you constantly and he invests time and money on you (but then again guys with no game and loads of cash love doing this too and you won’t consider yourself dating them, would you). My next question was do you tell a girl you’re in a relationship or is it just guess work and he said that it depends on the guy (tough luck ladies) as he should tell you but of late the pursuit seems to be the ultimate quest. Years ago “I like you” would more than likely convert into “let’s date” (sigh and yet today the same could mean “I would love to hit that”) I have been assured though that not all guys are like minded a friend of mine insists that he is straight forward and with him there is no misunderstandings what so ever (now how do you trust someone who says “trust me”??). Another gentleman said that you’re only in a relationship when it appears on his face book profile (and if he is smitten then your face book walls becomes the new place for PDA’s Public Displays of Affection).

Ok so maybe asking the guys wasn’t  the best idea so instead let me give you my sound advice that was confirmed by a guy (cannot name him as the Guy Code Convention would expel him) but your input has been precious a big thank you from all ladies you rock man!!!

Key tips of when to hold back are; if he is inconsistent , you know hot today, cold tomorrow, shady the next day,(granted there may be a logical explanation to it, i.e. wife or girlfriend but) there is a rat you need to smell (you are probably smelling it and denying the stink) . This is because most guys tend to search for a new girlfriend before they have actually left their old one (in their defence you must also check yourself, why should he look for love elsewhere),

 Secondly monitor behaviour if a guy starts hot and it begins to fade fast something is up (be a good girl and help him fix it). If you’re unsure of him listen to your gut it’s usually right (except if you have a touch of a tummy bug). If he doesn’t take you to his home at least once or if you have no clue where he stays be careful ladies (he maybe homeless or married with children or maybe ariku bika mapoto). Ladies if he only has time for you at night then I’d say you’re the booty call (amazingly the modern day liberated woman does not mind being that but remember what gran said “Who will buy the cow if they can get the milk for free”  food for thought)

Parting note: Ladies what is up with falling in love???  falling is painful so if you fall in love then clearly you are looking at getting hurt.....Be wise dear and grow to love and know when to hold back (take your time you are not desperate). Also know that the perfect man (doesn’t exist) and doesn’t come with everything you want but may give you what you really need. So let take it easy and “think like a man and act like a woman”!

Easter

Now for Christians Easter is the celebration or remembrance of the death of Christ for our sins but when I stop to think of it I realised that Easter has nothing to do with Christ but rather a whole lot of rituals that have no biblical origination. As we are in the mist of celebrating the Easter holidays I decided to do some research on the topic and the information I discovered was nothing short of unbelievable! David .C Pack had the best definitions, opinions and explanations. He is the pastor of the restored church of God and he oversees one of the most extensively biblically based websites in the world. He is also a published writer of over 25 books.

 Easter is a celebration of an ancient Babylonian family 2000 years before Christ honoring the resurrection of their god, Tammuz, who was brought back from the underworld by his mother/wife, Ishtar (after whom the festival was named). As Ishtar was actually pronounced “Easter” in most Semitic dialects, it could be said that the event portrayed here is, in a sense, Easter. Of course, the occasion could easily have been a Phrygian family honoring Attis and Cybele, or perhaps a Phoenician family worshipping Adonis and Astarte. Also fitting the description well would be a heretic Israelite family honoring the Canaanite Baal and Ashtoreth. Or this depiction could just as easily represent any number of other immoral, pagan fertility celebrations of death and resurrection—including the modern Easter celebration as it has come to us through the Anglo-Saxon fertility rites of the goddess Eostre or Ostara. These are all the same festivals, separated only by time and culture

The vast majority of ecclesiastical and secular historians agree that the name of Easter and the traditions surrounding it are deeply rooted in pagan religion. Now notice the following powerful quotes that demonstrate more about the true origin of how the modern Easter celebration got its name:“Since Bede the Venerable (De ratione temporum 1:5) the origin of the term for the feast of Christ’s Resurrection has been popularly considered to be from the Anglo-Saxon Eastre, a goddess of spring…the Old High German plural for dawn, eostarun; whence has come the German Ostern, and our English Easter” (The New Catholic Encyclopedia, 1967, Vol. 5, p. 6). The fact that vernal festivals were general among pagan peoples no doubt had much to do with the form assumed by the Eastern festival in the Christian churches. The English term Easter is of pagan origin” (Albert Henry Newman, D.D., LL.D., A Manual of Church History. “On this greatest of Christian festivals, several survivals occur of ancient heathen ceremonies. To begin with, the name itself is not Christian but pagan. Ostara was the Anglo-Saxon Goddess of Spring” (Ethel L. Urlin, Festival, Holy Days, and Saints Days.

“Easter—the name Easter comes to us from Ostera or Eostre, the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring, for whom a spring festival was held annually, as it is from this pagan festival that some of our Easter customs have come” (Hazeltine, p. 53). “In Babylon, the goddess of spring was called Ishtar. She was identified with the planet Venus, which, because, [it] rises before the Sun…or sets after it…appears to love the light [this means Venus loves the sun-god]…In Phoenecia, she became Astarte; in Greece, Eostre [related to the Greek word Eos: “dawn”], and in Germany, Ostara [this comes from the German word Ost: “east,” which is the direction of dawn]” (Englehart, p. 4).

As we have seen, many names are interchangeable for the more well-known Easter. Pagans typically used many different names for the same god or goddess. Nimrod, the Bible figure who built the city of Babylon (Gen. 10:8), is an example. He was worshipped as Saturn, Vulcan, Kronos, Baal, Tammuz, Molech and others, but he was always the same god—the fire or sun god universally worshipped in nearly every ancient culture. The goddess Easter was no different. She was one goddess with many names, the goddess of fertility, worshipped in spring when all life was being renewed.

The widely-known historian, Will Durant, in his famous and respected work, Story of Civilization, writes, “Ishtar [Astarte to the Greeks, Ashtoreth to the Jews], interests us not only as analogue of the Egyptian Isis and prototype of the Grecian Aphrodite and the Roman Venus, but as the formal beneficiary of one of the strangest of Babylonian customs…known to us chiefly from a famous page in Herodotus: Every native woman is obliged, once in her life, to sit in the temple of Venus [Easter], and have intercourse with some stranger.” Is it any wonder that the Bible speaks of the religious system that has descended from that ancient city as, “Mystery, babylon the great, the mother of harlots and abominations of the earth” (Rev. 17:5)?

This shook me to the core as I just adopted Easter like many from my parents and never searched for its origin. In the bible any reference associated with Easter is Leviticus 23 vs. 4 here Easter is mentioned or in other bibles the Passover. Knowing the feast of the Passover we hardly follow it over Easter nor do we observe the days of unleavened bread (acts 12:1) which follow so I truly wonder is Easter about Jesus or is it just another tradition thrust upon unquestioning minds……………………