Wednesday 23 November 2016

Know thy Self

Self mastery is the ultimate key to happiness and yet our greatest fear why though? how many times have you had a loving heart to heart with yourself? It is so easy to come down harshly on yourself or not to trust yourself and yet that is this worst experience you could give yourself. One of my successful lessons and experiences this year was learning to love and trust myself, I admit this was not easy as I was my worst enemy however, I am getting better at this everyday now. I am me the good, the bad, the ugly and the pretty too and the more I own this the happier I become. Ownership and accountability we seem to chase these alot externally, then wonder why in doing so we never feel fulfilled internally. This is because charity begins at home always!

Knowing and trusting myself has been an interesting journey mostly because it hardly ends, and it involves alot of conversations with yourself, I call it seeking expert advice. My first task I think was in isolating myself, a very daunting task for me as I love people however I learnt how to be alone this year. Great peace came from this, when we are constantly surrounded and on the go life becomes very noisy and truth be told we can't hear ourselves and we miss alot. When we take the time to quiet down and think through our actions and decisions we become tactical, strategic and organised. I love who I am and where I m going in life however the progress I have made in one year surpasses that of my lifetime.

In understanding, loving and accepting Donna I have achieved more than I had expected to achieve and most importantly I unlocked strength and courage. This year I believe I came to the realization that anything I set my mind on doing I can do, I learnt nothing is impossible which is insane but also so liberating and exciting. The hard and impossible life process became possible, the difficult roads to walk became must experience adventures and all this by a simple mindset change. I took full control and responsibility for me, I did not look for excuses or for people and situations to blame, I became a solution provider for myself and if I couldn't come up with a solution it was normally because the problem was beyond my control and in such cases there is a prepared response for various outcomes.

The next step was self discipline this one is tough the little rebellious self resides in you and controlling her is the real challenge. This is such an important process and yet im sure this is where most of us lose the battle, again ''expert advice'' must be sought continuously. My best activity to instill self discipline was the gym and developing new habits, I literally had to train myself like I was a pet which seems crazy but true. Humans have the most powerful minds but we waste them we let our minds get programmed by the TV and coast through life. I have taken to feeding my mind and body mostly that which is good and necessary for it. I could go on for days but this is meant to be food for thought for you. Do you know you?, do you understand you? and most importantly after knowing you can you love you? The answers need to be yes to these questions if not you have work to do, know thy self.





Tuesday 15 November 2016

A woman by Myanmar Angelou/Pamela Redmond

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

Enough money within her control to move out...
And rent a place of her own
even if she never wants to
or needs to...
Something perfect to wear if the employer
or date of her dreams wants to See Her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
A youth she's content to leave behind....
A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her Old Age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
A set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
One friend who always makes her laugh...
And one Who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
A good piece of furniture not previously owned
by anyone else in her Family...
Eight matching plates,
wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will make
her guests feel Honored...
A feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love without losing herself..
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT
RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...
When to try harder...
And WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change the length of her calves,
The width of her hips,
or the nature of her parents..
That her childhood may not have been perfect...
But it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
How to live alone...
Even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust,
Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go...
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
Or a charming inn in the woods...
When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
A month...
And a year... ॐ

Written By: Maya Angelou/Pamela Redmond Satran

Saturday 9 July 2016

Being bold, different and daring!

I learnt much later in life to embrace being different, it was a hard lesson as there is comfort in going with the masses and being a face in the crowd. This was never my destiny unfortunately and sticking out like a sore thumb is just me and I have learnt to embrace it finally.

As women we are raised to be good wives, great mothers and phenomenal home makers however it brings great discomfort that for many of us the list of achievements ends there. I am all for having a great home ethic and being a phenomenal home maker I am one myself and take great pride in my wifely skills so to put them.

However I just don't think that this all there is to us, I strongly believe as women we are the one sex with the ability  and will power to do more,achieve more live more and be more. Just a bit of background to avoid the perception that I am a bitter woman who has turned against the age old housewife. I was a wife for a few years and it was a great job until I matured and apart of me desired more in terms of growth and achievements and unfortunately my partner wasn't ready for a stronger me nor for my growth and self development.

A hunger grew inside of me that wasn't fulfilled by stagnation any longer .A fire burned within me of potential to be more than I ever imagine and when I shared this with my then partner it was stifled. Fortunately for me the strong feeling that I was wasting my potential began to haunt me in the form of discomfort and unhappiness. The happiness and comfort I had built and felt very comfortable in was fading fast and I couldn't bare 20 more years of letting my potential die.

This was my next stage of maturity as a woman, and probably the stage when many of us are told that we change as we begin to want more and rightfully so. I agree with the fact that for women every decade brings a new level of  maturity, change and growth. Fortunately for me my twenties wouldn't allow me to be a passenger in my own life, I was not meant to be a girl who gave it all up for her children. My future was meant to be bright bold and beautiful, however I had to fight the fear of the unknown and take a leap of faith into a new chapter and leave all my comforts behind.

Looking back now I would strongly embrace the younger me that walked away from comfort, as it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. How I have evolved in the last four years is unbelievable, its been an amazing journey of self discovery, trust and acceptance and I look forward to my thirties as I near the next stage of my maturity. I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin, being a strong woman who knows what she wants and goes after it unapologetically. If you asked me today what can't you do the only answer I could give is Fail.

I have discovered a place of limitless potential and opportunity and no one could have ever told me that I would be the woman  I am today but, interestingly enough I look forward to the woman I will be tomorrow. I am bold and very different and daring however its a beautiful thing to be viewed with marvel and interest. I still know that the best is yet to come and I am growing into the woman I have always wanted to be daily, the diamond is being perfected. 

Wednesday 11 May 2016

My Entrepreneurial Journey led me to my Career!





The last I touched on being an entrepreneur I was advanced  in my journey of building my empire and yet today 5 short years later I see myself on a completely different path altogether. I will always be an entrepreneur at heart and ultimately I know I will see myself back on this path in no time at all, however the journey I started three years ago has proven to be one of immeasurable value in building the most well rounded leader Africa will come to discover in the near future.

At the devere group
I write elated and charged with excitement with the prospects life has in store for me and has already given me. Four years ago I decided to follow my teenage dreams of being a Financial Advisor and explore the financial industry. I started in the micro finance industry and well that did not have a lot to offer in terms of growth or international exposure, I then decided to go a step further and venture into International finance.  I started working for an International brokerage firm, however due to my age and inexperience I did not get to start off as Financial Advisor as I had so desired. None the less I began as an assistant to an advisor (ideal enough for me to learn all I needed to beforehand). My role was to develop new business leads for my advisor and provide the necessary administrative support, this was not too difficult a task given my experience in building networks and being a social butterfly I was seemingly in my element. I got to a good start unfortunately all my enthusiasm and hard work did not immediately equate to overwhelming success. The sad reality of becoming a professional it is never as easy as it looks.

Officially a nerd

My first reality check was having to adjust to a formal business set up that I was not in control of; this was the most painful of lessons. I must say it was a step in reality on the road to humility; this was due to my being so accustomed to doing my own thing that having to account for my time formally was a literal lesson. The shift in focus and the need to upgrade my knowledge and skill set brought me to the decision to let my business go in pursuit of a career, this felt like a huge digression at the time but I am glad I made that decision now. So often we over value being informal business owners and yet we stagnate in the disillusion of being a boss mean while we have no real measure of success or progress, we just circle in ignorance. This does not go for all this was mostly my journey as a young inexperienced business owner. Selling off my business was painful however I knew I didn’t have what I needed to take it to the next level, I also knew the importance of the journey I was about to embark on, that of learning, understanding and respecting money which would later equip me to be a better business owner in the future.

In my first year I was distraught as after sacrificing my business to pursue this career it was not even lifting off the ground. I gave it my all and came real close to making it but somehow the cake wasn’t mine. I was shattered, concerned that I had made a bad decision, I began doubting if finance was even the right career for me. I distracted myself with smoking and drinking and somehow I  got comfortable in the misery of failure, after a few pep talks and the intervention of my personal convictions, I decided to regroup and give this career life one more real try. I did and I switched things up 100% and within three short months there was a huge turn around in me I was winning and boy did it feel good! A fire and desire for continuous success was ignited in me and I never looked back! I was once again reassured that this was where I was meant to be, six short months later I was flying to Cape Town for Financial Consultant training. I had done it I made my dream come true and then my journey as a financial advisor began. 

In work mode

Saturday 13 February 2016

My One and Only!


My smile permanently glows from ear to ear
My heart is overjoyed by this ecstasy I know as your love
I am baffled by my ignorance before and detest it
I am forever grateful for the patience you have shown
Never walking away from my childish ways
Staying against my pushes meant to edge you away
Mostly I am grateful that you have loved me endlessly

The walls you broke down brick by brick without my awareness
The comfort and assurance you consistently portrayed
The admiration and support you constantly gave and still give
The never ending kindness, humility and respect
The values you have shown me were once but an enigma
The subtle way you moved into my heart is why I adore you!

Finally I realize you’re the one and it all comes to me
Joy, shock, happiness and fear a windstorm of emotions
It’s so amazing you can’t wait for the next sunrise and you wilt when it sets
It’s so real it feels like the sun is rising in the west
Your thoughts stolen, your smile undying
The courage to ride so brisk, the strength in you so illusory
Delirium, ecstasy, frenzy, bliss, your my new muse

What a love we have ever growing and maturing
Friendship that unmasks the nakedness of truth
yet still grows stronger
Chronic nostalgia encroaches when we are apart
Excitement and blithe flow when we are reunited
Absolute bliss that constantly has one questioning reality
My one and only what a privilege to be on this journey with you!

May our love continue to flourish and strengthen.

Friday 8 January 2016

2015







This has been a year of growth and indeed alot of building, I am unsure of where to start really. I have loads of joy as I recall the year even though it had its fair share of disappointments,loss and unfairness, I do know the positives do outweigh the negatives.

As a doting mother I will begin with my babies whom I can no longer refer to as babies. Nicole graduated from preschool this year and is going to big school next year, she also lost two front teeth (rather early in my opinion). She has also found her own opinion ( a rather misguided one at that) that she voices often with no backing whatsoever but I guess this is part of her growth. I love the love she has for me and never attempts to hide it, this really makes my life knowing I am her world, just the boost I need on a dull day. Nicky also got her first beat down this year from me( I hope it was the last one too) discipline is so hard but so necessary she seemed to get the message though, I think we on the same page now. She is growing into quite the confident little girl and this warms my heart fifteen more years to go lol.

Anthony turned ten this year and my wise man has developed sarcasm and an ear for hip hop even though he has two left feet (in my opinion). Watching your child grow is surreal we have this urge to protect them even though we also want to see what they will become without too much interference. I like to watch Ant from afar and understand him, unlike his sister who is a mini me, his a different and very unique individual. I love the confidence he has in me I think im a superhero in his world lol (no pressure at all). I got him to put off having a girlfriend till his twelve (doing my happy dance right now) so I have a bit of time to think of how we postponing the next date. His a level headed young man with wisdom beyond his years and alot of life I just need to wean him off dstv and video games, to aide this mission I have invested in books (2016 mission create a bookworm)

My sisters and I fought alot less this year (yay) this is a big one, I also think we have established better communication methods now and this living together thing is going better than i ever expected. I think the year ahead will have more adventures for us as long as the bullying stops lol! Family is everything in life and even though I lost alot of close family early in life I am learning the open up a bit more the with the ones that are still alive. I think the growth end of our relationships are expanding, I also never expect us to be perfect and getting along all the time, I just want fulfillment within our imperfection which is achievable.

My career was pretty much established last year and I am blossoming in it and loving every minute of it, I also took on my first mentee this year a very interesting task, I had forgotten how to teach someone else with love and patience, it's been a great journey with a lot of lessons. I think I have a lot of growth in store this year within my career and I look forward to it, I have also got a lot of personal development I have scheduled in this year for myself. I am being a sponge again in 2016 I would like to absorb and fully experience where I am and make memories and not want to keep going in the rat race. I want to smell the roses and count the notes too.

I am pleased with the prospect of a new year and look forward to it all, Growth and Expansion are the themes this year Diamonds come out of your shells and fly around with me! Happy New Year make this one a memorable year as I will!