When should you hold back?

I have been watching relationships and chatting with my girls and I have discovered that women really don’t know when to hold back or when to chill in a relationship. I think it is safe to say that the dating scene is not very transparent (granted I have been in retirement for about 7 years now) but even then it was shady now it’s downright dodgy.

 I have witnessed people I assumed were dating come and say oh no we were just hanging out and my response is oh ok! (Guess that’s why they say if you assume you make” an ass of u and me”)! So I would really like to understand what then are the new signs of being in a relationship are, so I decided to quiz a couple of guys hoping they could shed some light on the mystery of modern day dating.

One gentleman said that you’re in a relationship when the guy begins going out of his way to call you constantly and he invests time and money on you (but then again guys with no game and loads of cash love doing this too and you won’t consider yourself dating them, would you). My next question was do you tell a girl you’re in a relationship or is it just guess work and he said that it depends on the guy (tough luck ladies) as he should tell you but of late the pursuit seems to be the ultimate quest. Years ago “I like you” would more than likely convert into “let’s date” (sigh and yet today the same could mean “I would love to hit that”) I have been assured though that not all guys are like minded a friend of mine insists that he is straight forward and with him there is no misunderstandings what so ever (now how do you trust someone who says “trust me”??). Another gentleman said that you’re only in a relationship when it appears on his face book profile (and if he is smitten then your face book walls becomes the new place for PDA’s Public Displays of Affection).

Ok so maybe asking the guys wasn’t  the best idea so instead let me give you my sound advice that was confirmed by a guy (cannot name him as the Guy Code Convention would expel him) but your input has been precious a big thank you from all ladies you rock man!!!

Key tips of when to hold back are; if he is inconsistent , you know hot today, cold tomorrow, shady the next day,(granted there may be a logical explanation to it, i.e. wife or girlfriend but) there is a rat you need to smell (you are probably smelling it and denying the stink) . This is because most guys tend to search for a new girlfriend before they have actually left their old one (in their defence you must also check yourself, why should he look for love elsewhere),

 Secondly monitor behaviour if a guy starts hot and it begins to fade fast something is up (be a good girl and help him fix it). If you’re unsure of him listen to your gut it’s usually right (except if you have a touch of a tummy bug). If he doesn’t take you to his home at least once or if you have no clue where he stays be careful ladies (he maybe homeless or married with children or maybe ariku bika mapoto). Ladies if he only has time for you at night then I’d say you’re the booty call (amazingly the modern day liberated woman does not mind being that but remember what gran said “Who will buy the cow if they can get the milk for free”  food for thought)

Parting note: Ladies what is up with falling in love???  falling is painful so if you fall in love then clearly you are looking at getting hurt.....Be wise dear and grow to love and know when to hold back (take your time you are not desperate). Also know that the perfect man (doesn’t exist) and doesn’t come with everything you want but may give you what you really need. So let take it easy and “think like a man and act like a woman”!