Setting yourself up for failure

So I have had this vision basically all my life that I need to strive for excellence and be the ultimate best in every possible way. Excellence is all I have worked towards most of my life even when I screwed up and got pregnant I was focused on being the best mum, wife, student, friend, daughter etc. Nothing was too much anything that came my way I could do, infact I had to do to prove that I was the cream.

I got so caught up in this race to perfection and in making myself faultless and irreplaceable that the perfection became my biggest fault. Perfection is apparently scary and very intimidating and very unnerving for men. Instead of embracing a partner that holds her own and supports you, you see her as a threat and you feel challenged and you end up sabotaging something that could have been amazing.( WHY guys why)

Now this is where it gets confusing because we tell ourselves all we got to do is work hard hold a job, have your own money and basically hold your own and if you do then you deserve a man who will love you and respect you and cherish you right? Erm well that isn’t exactly how it goes no matter how amazing you are there is a high chance that you’re going to meet a man that will disregard all that you stand for and basically try and wipe the ground with you (figuratively)  and have you second guessing yourself and nearing insanity. Then to top it all off while your in a disaster of a whirl wind relationship you witness a cheaper and easier class of woman getting the treatment that you worked so hard to receive and you have your WTF moment.

In this moment you ask yourself what the heck was it all for respecting yourself working hard and doing things the right way, was it all in vain was I setting myself up for failure? Is there still a class of men that respects women and appreciates a real woman when he gets one or is it all just about getting ass now, the easier it is the better? The current situation has me second guessing myself insanely. I was once told that the greatest crisis in life is expectation, so I guess it’s all up to ones self if you’re going to be perfect be just that but be it just for you and don’t expect to find Mr Perfect as he obviously does not exist. The best and safest plan is don’t expect anything at all let life surprise you at all times no wanting and hoping just be.