Letting Go!!

This is one of the hardest things to do, yet it is also one of the most liberating experiences one can ever have. At different points in life, we’re faced with a choice — to let go and move forward, or to hold on and remain stagnant.

While I’ve always hated the feeling of being stagnant, I can look back and see moments where I was exactly that — stuck in one particular place, unable to move. Letting go is difficult because it demands that we step out of our comfort zones and into the unknown. And that unknown can feel terrifying. But perhaps it shouldn’t be — because the unknown is only 50% scary. There’s an equal chance that what lies ahead could be something good.

If we think about it logically (the accountant in me can’t help it), that means the risk of stepping into the unknown is only half as frightening as we imagine. You can take a leap of faith that might cost you 50%, or you can remain stagnant and risk losing far more in the long run.

Change is scary — but it’s also necessary if we want to live a truly progressive life. I was surprised to discover that I am, in many ways, resistant to change. I had always seen myself as progressive, yet I found myself opposing the very thing that fuels growth. Now, I’m consciously working on transforming my life. It’s not easy, and I still find myself resisting from time to time, but I’ve learned that anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Change doesn’t come naturally — it comes courageously.

Back against the wall!!!!

In my journey through life, I’ve often found myself on the defensive — as though my back is constantly against the wall. I believe this stems from not having a strong support system growing up. I never truly had someone who saw the good in me, believed in my potential, or nurtured and encouraged me. As a result, I learned to view the world through a lens of self-preservation. I instinctively assume people are coming to attack, and my natural reaction is to protect myself and make sure they understand my point of view.

This mindset made me highly argumentative — a skill that served me well in my younger years, especially in debate, where standing my ground was rewarded. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized how much it limits me. I struggle to accept positive criticism because I often perceive it as a personal attack. I can now recognize that this is one of my greatest character flaws.

Still, I believe that knowledge is power. By acknowledging this pattern, I hope to conquer it. Recognizing our weaknesses is one of the most progressive things we can do. It’s so easy to look perfect on paper, when in truth, none of us are. We should never be afraid to admit when we’re wrong or imperfect — because perfection is an illusion.

Love yourself for who you are — flaws, mistakes, and all — and growth will come naturally.

My Entrepreneurial journey

Mrs Donna-Ray White
M.D Donna's Hair & Beauty

Hello my name is Donna-Ray White, mother and entrepreneur, marketer, i have a passion for writing and assisting the less fortunate i am a lover of life and am passionate about living. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you, the journey I have taken so far as an entrepreneur.

As a child I believed that I could solve my own problems and achieve anything. I wanted to have my own money that I governed and was free to spend as I desired. I therefore went out and carried out a survey of our home for a venture to make money, I quickly noticed we had fruit trees and vineyards that bear fruit all year round, so I set off to our local fruit vendors and proposed to supply them with my various fruits throughout the year and they would pay per delivery, thereafter I never needed pocket money! Back then i had no idea or appreciation of the magnitude of the entrepreneurial skills I possessed but nevertheless there was no stopping me. My tenacious determination to conquer and achieve blossomed into an independent and self-motivated lifestyle.

When the fruit business got boring and the cash flow seemed insufficient, I sought out my next opportunity, whilst maintaining my current business. My aunt owned a hair salon and I decided to employ myself on her behalf! Every weekend and after school I would go to the salon and assist her. She noticed my perseverance, and she offered me an attachment position. I welcomed this opportunity with open arms as this meant I would learn a new skill and experience for free! A year later I was given a managerial position at her salon.  As a result, in 2006 when my aunt emigrated I had earned an opportunity to buy her salon which became my first business. I renamed it ‘Donna’s Hair & Beauty Salon of which I am still managing director.

While it all seems so easy I failed to mention the hardships in my journey, like balancing school work, chores and an attachment, this required me to be extremely efficient at everything I did and I had to manage my time efficiently. This could have been seen as torture by the average teenager but this was my training and grooming which I craved.  During this period I learnt to be responsible for managing my time and duties and to never let the pressure show, lest I be relieved of my responsibilities. After I completed my A Level’s I had a new responsibility to transform my aunt’s salon into my own. This was a challenge as I had no capital which meant that I could not give the business the face lift it so desperately needed at the start, but I went with my business through the paces. Slowly but surely as I earned I invested straight back into the business and with each punishing stage of development and establishment I achieved the refurbishment.  After my first year I decided to accelerate growth in the business by increasing my income so I got a job. I got a job as an assistant at a family butchery and there I learnt the ins and outs of the meat industry and soon climbed up the ladder to become the operations manager. The butchery developed my management and public relations skills which I rely on to this day. My new job in addition to the salon profit enabled me to replace all my equipment gradually after achieving the cosmetic ‘face-lift’ it required. This was a slow process put it's been a steady uphill climb which is great as I managed to develop the business without getting into debt.

This may seem like a long winded way to growing the business but I believe that slow and steady organic growth allows for a better foundation for your business and personally I am learning and developing, moving towards my goals slowly yet with confidence that I will reach them.
I believe the key to business start-up is not competing with other business in the beginning but focusing on establishing a foundation. It's always good to know what members in your industry are doing but do not lose yourself in competition when you should be establishing yourself and discovering then communicating your unique selling point. Remember to always set achievable goals, and have a clear vision which gives you the ability to see where you plan to be in the future and how to get there. Even if you stumble and fall along the way in your entrepreneurial persuits, the road still awaits your journey, all the best!

Do you Trust yourself?

In life we have many crossroads that we reach and we really have to stop and think before we proceed!I had such a crossroad when I was 15 and I discovered I was pregnant! I had two main choices abort or keep and these were transforming decisions to abort and live with the guilt or take responsibility for your mistakes and be a teen mom?At that point it was life and death the hardest choice of my life but now it doesn't seem that way, as I have the most amazing son in the world! In life we always come to crossroads and at the time it seems like the end of the world when it really is not.We battle with ourselves and complicate things so excessively instead of trusting ourselves and most essentialy God.God never gives us  more than we can handle no matter how big the situation is you hold and have the answer and the solution but you have got to trust yourself .

The Fear inside!

I grew up with my father's parents and I have never lived with either of my parents who are now late.There were many times I had needs but I ignored them because I didn't want to be a burden, there were times I felt alone and had no one to comfort me and many times I was afraid and I had no one to protect me. Living with my grandparents was a somewhat traumatising experience as my grandfather was an alcoholic and the worst kind! He would drink and when he was intoxicated he was abusive both verbally and physically I remember hating weekends, Fridays were the worst because he'd get home after work drunk and he'd start swearing as if that was not enough, everyone young  was out so I was alone at home with the task of protecting my grandmother.

 I remember when I was about five or six and my grandfather came home drunk and started his usual stream of abuses and before i knew it I was in the middle of a full on fight between him and my grandmother and I was terrified out of my mind screaming for help or for them to stop! As a result till I was about 8 years old I had panic attacks I grew up filled with fear and agony and dread! One night I was scared for my life because my grandfather said he wanted to kill us. I remember he sat across from my bedroom and broke an entire crate of bottles on  our locked bedroom door I was so afraid to come out of my room the next morning from then I got so paranoid I’d take all the knives and any sharp objects to my bedroom to make sure we weren't in danger, I would hide away anything and everything that would pose a threat to us. Living in fear is not the ideal way to live life and as a result I'm easily afraid even when I have no need to be.

Fear is so ugly and unnecessary  and I know being fearful is a sin as it limits or hinders faith but knowing it is wrong alone doesn't stop it from happening.I always find my self scared but being conscious of it's effects in my life has proven to be a step in the right direction.I am more in control now and I always try to reason with myself whether it's necessary to be so timid and im moving in the right direction every day! False Evidence appearing real is what fear represents, I will no longer let fear have any place in my life. I am regaining control and releasing the negative experiences of the past.

No need to belong!!

I always found that being of mixed race was so liberating because i felt i never had to choose, I never had to be black or white or Indian or typical coloured there was no pressure, I was a part of everyone!!I did not have to belong because i felt at home everywhere and with everyone,i can relate to all situations.Many say we are a confused nation because our roots are scattered but i feel we are privileged because we have such a broad scope of influence,limitless opportunities in self discovery and identification, But it has also taught me to see beyond the exterior it's not colour shape or size that matters we should always go deeper, look beyond the surface find a personality relate to a human not a race or a sex!.Search a little more and when you do there ceases to be the need to belong!When you don't need to belong life is liberating and is a breath of fresh air!

What's in a name?

Looking back it is as though I just woke up a certain age having been a spectator of my life since I can remember!  I was born Donna-ray age white. From my name there is confusion I’m unsure if the ray should be in capital letters or in smalls??And it’s my name wow! Then my parent’s miss spelt my second name, I only discovered this when I was 10 years old.

 I had just got my first passport, we were driving off from the passport office and my grand mother asked me to check that there are no errors so I scream stop they made a mistake! They wrote age twice let’s get it fixed. My granny says where let me see, then she hands me back the passport and she is like oh that’s your second name!!

I remember being crushed, how could they make an error in my name that is my identity, was it not something they thought of in depth, did they not think which spellings they wanted it’s my name on my birth
certificate a little attention to detail couldn't have hurt.  As I write this, the scene plays in my head like it was yesterday. I was like how is that my second name what happened its meaning less? She gave me a story about how my mum and dad made a mistake.

I cannot remember her story but I didn't buy what she was selling i was livid and crushed! I did get over it thankfully, it turned out my second name is supposed to be Agnes after my grandmother and I would be so proud but because of the story behind it to a certain extent I feel that maybe I don’t deserve the name. On the other hand, i am proudly my grandmothers child and the goodness in me is a reflection of her greatness living in me.

The Prompting

I was tasked to write my life's mission statement and I failed. I realized I had lost my why and my drive including my appetite to be. I had always had a plan, idea's and goals to be achieved. Yet I sat down blank and empty with nothing to put to paper. Was I just existing and not living my life? Was I progressing with no real destination?  This was a real eye-opener for loud, focused and outgoing Donna.

Somewhere down the line, I had lost myself, and I had no clue as to where or when. Having led a life of service and people pleasing I guess this was an inevitable outcome. Fortunately, I Made the discovery before it was too late, my eye's were opened and it was time I regained control of my life and stop drifting. I had to find my self and reignite my inner spark.

My journey began as one of understanding my past, accepting it and forgiving myself. Thereafter I had to find my purpose discover my reason for gracing God's amazing earth. Trying to understand what I was made for and grasping my why. I embarked on a journey of education and fear my old friend was not welcome. Courage and strength were my new acquaintances as I sought after knowledge and understanding and prayed for wisdom. This is the beginning of the process of turning ore into a diamond. 

The Beggining

My name is Donna-ray White and this blog is based on my journey in life, the road i took to get to my present 22 years and the road that lay ahead. I am at the point where i stop and reflect on my life and set the standard as I now have an idea of my worth!I am a diamond a precious jewel that is going through the fire to be one. My blog is a portal to the life and experiences of Donna, my thoughts, opinions and experiences.You may also gain a whole new appreciation for life, it's preciousness, uniqueness and value. I hope my life gives hope to the broken hearted and restores faith in the hopeless!I am not perfect, though I have tried to be! I have reached a point where i am not afraid to be wrong, where I am allowed to make mistakes without having to hate myself, Where I give myself a break and allow myself to just be, to wonder through life with the intention of finding myself.